Can you tell me honestly what you think about my story?
“He kept still, laying lifeless in Bonnie’s arms, as he watched his owner, his friend, his Andy leave inside his car. He watched him maybe for the last time with a plastic look plastered on his vinyl face, that nonetheless held so many emotions.
The car was slowly but surely drifting away from his sight, as the now young man was from his life.
His companion, the one he cared about the most, his pal for over ten years, was going away. Maybe, for good. Without him. And he had deliberately chosen to part their ways and say goodbye. He felt something wrench and break inside him, even if all he was made of was just cottoned fluff.”
Here’s the whole story http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6168054/1/Departure I would love if you’d be so kind to write a review on fanfiction.net (anonimous reviews are enabled) =3
Sorry but I don’t really like it. Try making it a bit more loose. You’re trying to hard to use good vocab. Just because it’s a serious story doesn’t mean your vocabulary has to be like Einstein’s.
I also basically didn’t get it. The cottoned fluff part really confused me. I’ll tell you what I think when I read the rest!
GARY MILLER – THE STORY OF MY LIFE.
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