The Guy W/A Blowup Doll In His Cubical Says She Is Expecting & Wants A Baby Shower! Should We Have One?
It’s Shadrack, our CFO, who won’t tell us where the bank accounts are and threatens to forget if we pressure him about them and his work-in blowup doll, “Rita.” He says she is expecting and he wants the office to have a baby shower to help her during this difficult period. If true, this will be Rita’s first and I can understand the need for “her” to feel a part of us.
It’s just that I honestly don’t think a blowup doll can get pregnant, and I really don’t think Shadrack can breed with one that was made in Hong Kong by Chang’s Faux Babes, Inc. I just don’t see how the genes would work out, especially since Shadrack is flesh and Rita is vinyl–even if really good vinyl.
Not only that, but Rita doesn’t look, ah, plumpish, you know? OK, she has a swelling on her forehead where building maintaince hit her with a ladder while changing an overhead light–but THATS ALL THAT’S BULGEY–OK?
Some of the office ladies are still whispering “Pervert!!” but I need a decision. What do we do??
Ok, you have several issues here. Let’s address them one by one.
We don’t know what the incubation rate is for vinyl, so the fact that she isn’t showing yet isn’t a concern. Some women don’t begin to show until their fifth month, so it could be even longer for her.
I wouldn’t pay attention to the other women in the office. I’ve worked in offices and know how catty some women can get. Rita’s true friends would come to the shower.
As Shadrack is a superior, you don’t want to have a wild party with games, etc., but a cake and some gifts would be a nice gesture. See if they have registered at any of the baby stores, or at Lover’s Lane, or Petey’s house of Vinyl. (A repair kit would probably come in handy, if you’re looking for a practical gift. Or perhaps some duct tape.)
Good luck to you. Don’t forget to take pictures of the baby.
Rare vocal version of The Andy Griffith Show Theme Song
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